Living Inside

Going it alone, without help in the house, is getting a bit crazy.  When putting up a new curtain in the basement storeroom at midnight is exciting, when exhilaration comes from cleaning the storeroom and building new shelving, and when giddiness erupts at news my brother and his family will be stopping to see us  for a few minutes, I need to get out more!  Living inside Lewy Body dementia can mean the mundane tasks of life suddenly take on a holiday spirit.
Battling the sudden fainting is about to get me down. It is getting more and more difficult to walk him from one place to another.  It's difficult to get him onto the toilet and back up to a standing position.  Psychiatric problems (delusions, hallucinations, capgras syndrome), physical limitations caused by the Parkinsonian symptoms, cognitive loss, and less and less ability to make himself understood frustrates the heck out of me and I'm certain it's even worse for RD.
Last week RD seemed to live in a perpetual delusion but I was to blame.  I was working to clean the storeroom, build shelving, and restore organization from chaos but I made a lot of racket.  I was working in 10-15 minute sprints because  RD kept getting up to look for me.  Getting up quickly is a guaranteed drop in blood pressure followed by a guaranteed fainting episode anywhere from 30 seconds to one minute after rising.  Between running up and down the stairs to check on RD and the noise, RD began to believe the city had condemned the 'building' and were busy tearing it down.  He became obsessed with the idea we would have to move.  He was convinced the foundation was crumbling and the city was knocking down the support walls.  Nothing convinced him otherwise.   Imagine the frightening feeling when believing your "building" was being torn apart while you were sitting inside?!!1
Since I had no one to stay with RD, I took him to my own doctor's appointment. The wind was gusting up to 65 miles per hour.  I asked him to stay in the car while I got the wheelchair out of the trunk.  Because of the wind and banging trunk lid,  I did not hear RD get out of the car but the next thing I saw was RD on the asphalt.  He had fallen backwards.  I ended up speeding through my own appointment so I  could get him over to the walk-in clinic.  Nothing broken but his pride.  My head hurts just thinking about it again.
Today began and ended with the same delusion.  I'll be living here for a while.