After watching this youtube video -Difficulties in Diagnosing Lewy Body Dementia - pt 1
www.youtube.com , and some of the other videos in this series, I decided I have been floating on my back, going with the current and looking at life from a different perspective for some time now but I have definitely hit the rapids again. I am hanging on for dear life right now, living next to my husband's delusions, disorientations, confusions, and hallucinations. The delusions are not entirely new but suddenly very prominent and in my face. For two weeks, coaxing, cajoling, explaining, going inside the delusion and going along with it and other times sharing the science behind delusions, always hoping to stop the insanity. Nothing worked. Finally, it occurred to me that his brain had no intention of giving up the world it created so I needed to stop trying to change his reality.
I am scheduling an appointment with a psychiatrist specializing in dementia for my husband ( but secretly, I am the patient hoping for information about living in this world). Unfortunately, I don't know what I want from this doctor. Comfort I suppose. And information about the world of hallucinations and delusions. There is nothing peaceful or calm about this journey right now. Maybe later when I've acclimated and grown accustom to the stranger that shows up more and more frequently. This is far more difficult than dealing with the physical needs of my husband. I've stopped gagging and choking and acting horrified at clean-up. But this - wow, so hard. There is no gagging at the odor or sight of delusions/hallucinations but the sadness of it all is indescribable. Give me clean-up duty any day if my husband could stay in touch with reality.
No comments:
Post a Comment